Weird dayssss..

30th of September 2010

Well well..
Nowadays I felt that I always don't wanna sleep at night..
Even I am tired..
Emo..
Happy..
I mean.. No matter what mood I am having..
This is soooo weird..
Even the sun rised..
It just like..
Normal.. I didn't feel like..
HOLY SHIT!! The sun rised!! I should go to bed now..
NO.. Why.. lolx..
Weird..
If I managed to control myself..
Thats will be GREAT!
NO.. Perfect!
My mom can't even control me..
I am really a piece of shit.. Oh man..
Nooo.. A dozen of shit lolx..
And also..
I can't remember much things..
when its noon.. I tried to think about what I did just now(midnight, morning)
But ends up without a thing in my mind..
HOly dozensss of shit!~
Toooooooo weird..
I hope I can just kick off this stupid habit of not sleeping.. damn..

First year semester 2

29th of September 2010 2.19am

After having 3 nights at my college life..
I found out there's nothing special..
Um, actually there was some weird feeling..
Just..
Some laughs.. some smiles.. some jokess.. some storys..
were missing..
But life goes on, I must get use on it then..

Sem two is actually .. um..
Good and bad? hahax..
Good
=> only study from Monday to Thursday..
So, I can go back to my hometown every Thursday's night
And, everyday my classes ended before 5.30pm like that..
so, I can go for football every evening HUhuuhu
Bad?
=> Thursday is full of shit that I have 4 classes for that day, from 8am to 5.30pm
If there's 4 presentation on that day..
I can be.. DEAD lolx..

Time is faster than lightning bolt ?

26/9/2010 6.11am


3 weeks of time just passed like this..
Damn.. I am going back to my college tomorrow(Kuala Lumpur)
Going to start sem2 for the next Monday..
I felt nervous and worries on my sem2..
I don't know why...
Maybe because a lot of things that I do on sem 1 shall not be repeated on sem2..
Examples?
um.. before going to football.. before going to sleep.. or before doing something important or special..hehex..
So it is very stranger to me..
And.. What am I going to do on sem 2 was..
To show those girls in the hostel something and make then never say "guy's room is just same as like in a hell"
I will keep my room clean and clear.. hahax..
I knew I can handle all the things by myself..
Because I am Chin Jun Yeng haahx..(My mom can't even handle me, how can I handle them myself? Shiit =x)
Am I ready for my sem 2???
Yea! I suree ee do..
I downloaded 137 movies.. HAHAHAX..
I was mad.. But every sem was a war..



Well well well..
I enjoyed my 3 weeks of time at my hometown nicely..
I met a lot of my friends.. But mostly I met my football friends..
Because..
NO FOOTBALL NO LIFE hahax xP
In 3 weeks of time.. I just ate fried chicken once that cooked by my mom..
And she went to China for my last week at my hometown.. Thats soo suck..
In 3 weeks of time..
I had forgotten a lot of things..
Why? Um, because of late sleep ? Late sleep may cause you having memories lost..
Damn.. thats suck..
When my friends talking about something past.. I was like..
Keep thinking and thinking..
But I still can't remember a thing.. DAMn..
In 3 weeks of time..
I started to play back "dota" and "runescape"
And guys.. Please don't try them..
These are the lifeless game ever..
Once you starts to play.. You need to play atleast an hour only you willing to STOP..
Hahax.. shit games..
So, what will I miss?
I'll miss my bed.. my carss.. my mom(more fried chicken pleaseee).. my younger bro(all the best for you pmr..).. my "copy"(my dog).. my desktop.. my toilet.. football field.. TC(beach).. Burgersss(saffron)... friendssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...
I guess thats all..
Since I am having memories lost..
I can't think nicely for this blog..
ahhahax..
I apologize for that =x

Brand new me?

I yahx..
I guess I am gonna change my attitude..
My attitude sometime is quite fucked up..
All because of my mouth..
I think I'll go for a polite mode..
Hope that it will be a better choice..


And I think I gonna change to a less active guy..
Since I feels that I talked too much..
Making people got annoyed..
But this case happens less..
Because I can cocky with almost all the girls and boys..
So,
I just hope my plan success..
So that I don't really need to change so much..

24th of September 2010

Time.. 1.11pm..
Um, now my feeling is totally downed..
Just took my lunch,
and things happened..
I wish I can talk to someone..
That really care about me..
That can talk about everything without feeling shameful or shy or others(negative)..
That really important to me..
That I really trust ..
But so far, I only found ONE..
And.. I just can't.. Argh..
Never mind..
Just .. too complicated..
Its about my dad,
And I can almost got hit
and die? since he was so mean-ed..
Life suck..
But I will never gave up to become a better man.. dad and.. husband..

Being a bad man ?

All the girls always saying that "all the man are bad and there ain't any good man in the world !"
Well , no..
There's some good man..
Just that they have no fate/destiny to meet any of them..
However,
Even if they met any of them and have a very good love relationship
The girl found out that there's a problem..
"what problem?"
A "guilty" feeling..
She will feel sorry to him..
She will feel that she hurt him a lots..
She will feel that she never know how to appreciate love..
Then, what to do?
Stop the relationship..
Cause it may stop feeling sorry to him..
or stop feeling that she hurting him..


So..
Um, being a good man is not the best as u think.. U still can't what u wanted..
How about being a bad man?
maybe it's better ..
Since being a good man can't really get loved..
And being a bad man,
I guess the girl will never feels
Guilty..
Just a word, "guilty"
Can make a big different..
I always wondering how wonderful the love and world would be if "guilty" will never exist...

21st of September 2010

Well,

For 21st of Sept's night,

It was my first time that I slept with airconded and a dark room for the 3 weeks time at my hometown!

"Huh? what u mean?"

Um, I went to bed at 5am(22nd) so, the sun still haven't rise and..

I only will switch on the air cond to sleep if the sun not yet rise..

Wow?

I guess I am back to business! The real life

However!

After I woke up, around 1 or 2pm.. I felt that I am extremely tired..

I don't know why, but I believe that soon I'll be okay with it..

Still blur with this blog huh?

Ok, lets just straight to the point

The conclusion was..

I

Am

On

My

Way

Back
To

Me

Zombie?

21st of September 2010
Morning..
My mom will be having a flight to china on tmr 6am..
So, 21st's morning..
She can't stand me anymore,
She asked me to go to bed.. But I didn't answer her
But then.. She said that.. I am like a "keong xi"(zombie)

This is "keong xi", chinese's zombie


Actual zombie xP


This is me, took it by last week. I put this cause I feels this pic I really look abit "zombie" lolx.


By anyhow.. The zombie and my photo really have a big different right??
Anyway, I'll admit I am kinda zombie look now..
My eyes below.. The bag of my eyes so dark.. I think got around 2cm..

I guess, I am going to change my bad habit from now on..
I'll try to sleep earlier..
No more up side down life..
Cause school going to start next week. <3
Hope I can do it,
In order to...

Back to the true and real me

Suck life ?

Um.. God damn it?

It is hard to know what we really want from our life sometime..
Even you thought that you are having a big and nice target.
But still you don't really know what you really want..

Well, when you feeling sad , happy, or any feeling that you having that was negative or positive..
The earth will never stop rotating..
Means the time is moving..
By every second, you can gain something, or loses something or nothing..
My friend said before that, "The last day of our freedom is the day before we born."
Arghh.. So, I guess we just move on our life.
Cause problems/troubles never stop coming to you..
We shouldn't run or hide.
Just solve them or it with a positive way..
Cause there's always gonna be a better way.
Search it and use it well.

Dead meat

Well,
This is a continue story after the previous one,
15th of September 2010.
I was still awake at 10am.
So, I went to market with mom.. To buy some fishes and somethings like that..
After that we went for breakfast.. Wow..
Till 12pm we went back home.
AND! I didn't went for bed but RUNESCAPE!
Holy shit... I just keep only playing and playing till almost 3pm.
So I quickly went to back and go for bed.
Till 6pm and go for my "simple life" again.

Night time reached..
I went for a movie with friend then went to the beach..
So after that, I went to my football friends to watch a football match but they didn't tell me about going for sunrise at beach at 6am.. SHIT
So after the football match we went to the beach and
After that went for the popular currymee nearby ..
The time now is 8.42am..
So.. I am so damn fucking blur..
And..
Conclusion was..
I can't remember what day is today!
Holy shit..
I thought now was Wednesday.. :(
Dead sooooooooooon

15th of September 2010

A day that I wasted 2 hours for a goal-less match..
Manchester United vs Ranger, start at 2.45am
Its 0-0 full time.. I felt soo bored to watch Man Utd now..
They are good but their spirit is just not too high.. :(
And.. Antony Valencia has broken his ankle.. OUCH ! during the match.. DAmn.. he's my one of my fav ! argh... Serious injury that will brought him a whole season to recover!
Oh yahx..
Um.. During half time.. I went to the kitchen and made my dinner again..
4 pack of maggies , 5 hotdogs , 1 egg ! wahahha.. This is maddd~~
And before the match I ate icecreams plus some chocolate biscuit.. Holy shit dude!!! Super sweettttt~

So.. Last thing .. Um.. Now I knew.. That I can..
play.. Fifa together with runescape! Oh my gosh.....
THis is not super sweet anymore ..
But..


Extremely sweeet!!!

xP The end.

14th of September 2010

Nothing special..

Cause I don't know what to put for the topic xP..

Well.. Since after finish my exam for my first year first sem examination

So, I went back to my hometown, kuantan..

And then !

Life here is sooo.... simple and .. funny?

My life here, is up side down .

People sleep..

But my eyes open..

People open their eyes, *awake*

But it's my time to go to bed.

Okay, here goes my life..

Everyday, I woke up at .. around.. 3 to 6p.m.

Then, I go for football at 6pm, means that I didn't bath..

But I did brush my teeth.. so.. after that then I quickly go to the field..

Finish the footballing at 7.30pm.. Then went home..

Automatically I'll went to upstair and sit infront of my computer.

Then I starts to play game.. FIFA 09 , facebook-ing and mp3-ing..

But since a few days ago I just found out a game, Runescape.. I knew it was old..

But.. it's private! hahax... So everytime I went back home after football,

I'll runescape-ing.. until 10pm ! I mean.. at most 10pm.. I go for bath..

Almost everyday.. I will hang out with friends.. between 10pm and 5am..

So.. After hang out , I went back home then I starts to play my game again..
Till 4am.. I will become a "Food-searcher"

Went downstair and keep searching for foods to eat.. But mostly I'll just cook mee and eat..

So, after that I continue runescape-ing till 8-11am..

Funny huh?

My mom was keep scolding me..

Just like...

Come on ! Just go to bed..

You have ur time.. 3 weeks !

After sleep, you can just go and play the runescape again..

I was like.. whoaa.. thats right.. But I never did once before.. =x

Ohh yah... last one..

Um, you know how's my lifestyle now huh..

Not really?

Okay.. Let me make it clean then..

Normally,

Dinner.. is equal to my lunch..*After football , went back and eat.*

And
Supper.. is equal to my dinner.. *Around 4am*

AND !

Breakfast is equal to my supper ! * I drank a cup of hot milo before I gone to bed*

This is actually very not good..
But.. no choice.. argh.. I can't control myself..

That is it..

The end.. xP..

*weird blog*

No tittle

From 28th of November 2009 (During SPM)

Ops, actually that day was 27th, but it's 27th's midnight.. So considered as 28th.

27th was Friday..

Ops again, this tittle is a.. love story. But the story ended.. peacefully .. silently.. unexpectedly and .. sadfully.

Okay, lets go now.

27th of November 2009.

That day I had futsal during night. So I finished it around.. 12am plus (28th of Nov already !)

Okay, then I was too tired and the laziness came to me..

So I went to my computer and started to waste my time on online-ing and.. FIFA 09 -ing

hahax..

Um, but then.. Suddenly !!

My phone rang.

A message received..

What message was that!??!

A forwarded message.

28-Nov-2009 0145

bla bla

bla bla

"good nite & hv a sweet dream"

A good night greet huh.

I was like got shocked that it's already midnight.

So I started to reply her around 10minutes later.

Its been a long time like around 2months that I never send any msg by my phone.

So, the love story started from that moment.

She is a girl that having a good behavior all the time. extremely discipline and .. cute+lovely

We get to know each other since 2008 and mid year.

It is kinda "destiny" that I met her.

If I don't get a good result for my PMR result.

I couldn't get into the science scene class and get to meet her.

But I did it. Hohohoho..

Lets go back then.

Um.. So, our relationship keep improving from that moment..

I keep concern, console and supports to her to get in mood and study for the SPM exam.

Then.. After SPM.. My dad.. got sick badly and went to hospital..

There was a lot of not so happy things happened..

But I managed myself to stood up because I had her concern , console and support too!

So.. Our relationship was keep improve and improve

I started to work at GSC, Golden Screen Cinema. To earn some money before going to college.

So, at 11st of January 2010.

The day, when our really love relationship started.

A date with her.. to the mall. wow!

haha.. I was seriously shy actually! but I managed myself not to show it off.

She reached the mall while I went to buy a waffle for her. Chocolate kaya or chocolate strawberry flavor. I had forgotten. OH MY GOSH!

So, we went for movie, the first movie with her ever!

Movie : Old dogs.

Time : 6.10pm or 5.10pm or 4plus If no mistaken..

A twins seated ! hahax.. But the ticket was kept by her. So I don't know the ticket was still around or not.. I hope it's still around because that ticket was a superb memorable ones to us.

But that day, she was tired.. So she slept ! oh shit.. So I just hugged her to give her more comfort to sleep.

The day ended.. Got hugs and hold-ed her hand. thats all..

So, our relationship get more improvement..

Until..

19th of March

Friday again.. lolx..

I got my off day.

So she and I were having dinner at Crocodile rocks.

Had my mix grills while she had her spragetti.

An enjoyable night but when we leave.

Things go bad.

She asked me if found any other nicer girl or what..

You can go for her anytime..

I was got shocked cause it was too sudden and too unexpected.

So I was keep trying my best to make things right.

But just part of it settled.

Then we left.

And then the problem came again but not in real. by message.

lolx.. I was extremely emo that time..

Days passed slowly and sadly till 29th of march

The day that she was going to Nasional service(A camp for 3 months training)

I was late. and her bus almost got away.. But hopefully!

I brought her um.. 2 pack of tissue papers. a funny cow stuff.. two umm.. kinda farewell cards.. but it was not.. I think I better use love cards. There was pictures inside it. and also I brought her a bottle of water that I made it by myself. Because she got sore throat .

So.. She took it.. and gave me a lovely hug.. and then.. she.. gone.. Then I went for work. I was soo down.. Till I can't stand it and went to toilet and cried.. Damn.. What a shame!

Every Saturdays(around 6pm+ Phone releasing) and Sundays(around 9pm+ Phone keeping)

I'll definitely call her . All the laughs.. things.. I can still remember.. Cause.. It was too wonderful.. How on earth, can I stop remembering it ?

Till 1st of May, our next meet. She got 4 days holidays.

So we went for dinner.. Buffet. Before that she went to my house.. Wow.. I never prepare.. But there was no any secret or uncensored things for her to know or see in my room or my house. No big deal.. I just went for bath and have some sweet talks and then we went out for dinner.. She was tired since she went out for the whole day.. She slept in the car so I drove to a lovely place and stopped there and let her sleep. But she woke up for a few minutes later then we continued to the 5 star hotel. Had a wonderful and enjoyable dinner , seafood buffet.. She has been a quite long time not having seafood already.. The looks.. the faces.. the expressions.. of her.. I can still remember.. It was way too funny.. But.. I love it so much .. Day ended happily..

2nd of May.

She went back to the camp.. Arghh gosh.. have to wait 1 and a half month !

By that time, we just sms and called her regularly on Sats and Sundays..

While I stopped my work since 28th of April , the last day. Then I went for college at 10th of May..

28th of May. My birthday.. Actually.. I dreamed.. That she had got her phone and called me for a surprise birthday wish. That day was Friday and she will never gonna get her phone.. But suddenly.. Things go so.. true-ly . She called me and wished me.. because of the next day she gonna have an event.. So got the phone.. wow.. Although she can't celebrate it with me.. But I am still extremely happy ! x))

Days passed by.. till..

12nd of June.

She was back after the 3 months of service..

I went the place where the bus dropped them..

I waited her.. She went down.. I was actually wanna hug her so much, but I was shy to do so..

When the bus's door opened. The first one who I saw was her.. wow! hahax.. She went down and went to me..

She was um.. became so rough and strong..

But thats okay for me.. Cause I like it hahax..

30th of June. Her birthday.

I was having my test that day.. But I still managed to go back to my hometown to meet her..

I was thinking to give her a surprise..

But ! She was sad about her birthday that her family did not keep the promise..

She was so down !

My heart was soft..

And quickly called her..

Console her..

Telling her I was at the hometown and told her about all my procedure/way to surprise her..

She was like .. got shocked.. but then .. she was happy ahahax.. and then I was happy too..

But too bad can't gave her surprise if not she can fly without wings. xP

So, days passed by.. Happily.. quickly(Happy time will always passed faster..)..

26th of July, the day she started her college life.

7th of August , met her at her college.

Till around 20th of Aug..

I felt that she changed..
But it was okay for me as I knew that it will be happened.

Day passed weird and weird.. Unnaturally .. I was trying to follow the way she is now..

But it is hopeless to do so as today.. she finally told me the true about the way she thinks..

Um, I can't do anything.. I don't like to force people..

So I just.. allowed her..

She having her college life happily and enjoyed everyday..

So I shouldn't show her anythings that is negative..

This is for her to go on her life happily..

So, now..

I am just like a flightless bird..

It's very hurt on my wound..

But soon.. I'll recover..

Then I'll fly back..

So, this proved.. As time passed.. things really changed.. face the fact.. solve them positively

If really no solution, just put one foot in front of the other.

We move just like we ain't got no other.

She yah.. um.. the one who really let me believe in true love..

The one who brighter my life in previous..

But seems like our spirit is too weak..

And I .. am powerless..

I don't have the strength to overcome things..

Distance is really a problem.. But I already gave my best on keep trying without giving up.

Till today.. I finally gave up.. not because I am not trying but I have no right for it anymore.

I am happy for my college life.

around 4 months already,

I always wondering.. Did I changes? or changed?

This one I am not sure of.

The only thing I am sure of was my love on her never changed.

Why oh why.. Argh..

By here,

Wishing you,

All the best in the future..

Just hope none of the negative things happens on you.

May my spirit be with you.

I really.. really... and .. really appreciated the love you produced.

It's too hard, too difficult till I got no idea on describing how wonderful is it..

Tonight, I'll admit..

I've no longer to save my last breathe to show what love really can do.

I'll admit..

I'll miss you a lots.

I'll admit..

I've no longer and have no right to jealous on you.

I'll admit..

I never thinks about having or anything of another girl.

And..

I'll admit,

Tonight will be the night that I returns your heart back to you..

Sorry for keeping it for more than half year..

Appreciated it so much.. Thanks

Ying love Yeng is no longer exist.