A year, 2012

1145pm 31/12/12
song: the last- all american rejects
title: a year, 2012

a post about the year,
first of all.. wishing everybody have a blast
and reaching home safely after celebration

new year thought?
well, nothing but of course health comes first so,
just hope everyone starts loving their life
get as healthy as possible
someone might thinks their life sucks
so then, they stop giving a damn about and start doing things that are so stubborn
that give a harm to themselves
well, there's always someone worse or even worst
have a look on those people who went through,
i have seen some or heard people who are so worse enough
that i think they should just give up on themselves
like, giving their life away
but they never even have a thought of it
well, sometimes when we're at our worse or even worst
first thing to start with is always a smile
with my self-thought, what i went through
were all much tougher among all my friends
but i never complain about them
sometimes seeing people around me complaint about what they have gone through
seriously such an annoy, i know i shouldn't been saying all these
all i want to reveal is that the world has changed so much
i'm always missing my life like two years ago o more
those life were pure, couldn't agree more while comparing to days now


2012, well..
i'm 21 years old,
good or bad, all in
learnt such a lot of things
and had much of mistake as well
but most of the learnings, were from the mistakes

in this reality world,
to me, that people are always going for a better
there will never be a perfect thing in the world or sufficient
if one doesn't improve for a better tomorrow
there will be a risk of not having what you have today on tomorrow

hard work versus luck
luck, if you're born with luck
well, great but you'll never get a chance to experience what is appreciation about
which leads never a chance of feeling the wonderful things in the world
as they get what they want
but people like me, born without luck
we've got to work so much harder
to earn ourself a wealthy wallet
and to possibly get what we wanted for a long time, to me, a partner

i always believe,
god are just being too fucking fair
even though you think it wasn't
but in fact, it is
things that not supposed to happen
it happens, that ass feeling
no matter what, we can only live with it
the only thing can be done is to think positive..

two years of time uh
i had given up
but then, i had also given in again
tired of being stuck with this routine
i wish god just letting me know who's the angel in my life..

sometimes..
my life, i feel like i'm a joker
just being born to make others happy
while inside me, no one would understand
but what to do, words will never get a solution
living with the flow is the only choice
life is like born to find myself, who i really am
i can't even identify myself
but there's only a word could describe it all
a failure

12:41am
01/01/2013
song: 爱 入 非 非- 罗 志 祥


song of the year: superman can't fly- jay chou. because of this song, the reason why i'm still here. since the biggest crisis of my life happened where it started from february, the worst result ever. the guilt or the emotional in me, totally unable to describe. there isn't anything to be happy about after the impact, even there's something really funny i couldn't even have a laugh as i'm so not deserved to be in the world, its just a waste of time of being/living here and i'm only a son of four sons, what i feel was it doesn't matter on my existence.. until then, i found this song and which enable me to find myself back a little. a crisis that changed who i was, yet i'm still unrecoverable now. that impact.. was so damn much...

best moment of the year: all alcoholic nights, nothing to be happy about but to self-comfort
worst moment: graduation, i don't get it #exactly

there's just too much of stuffs in me remain inside, but i know i'm not the only one. everyone has their so called or thought, 'undesirable thing' happened. you think you don't deserve them but everything has at least a reason to prove it meant to happen, and somehow we'll never get the answer. the world is just fair enough until you're so not believing and giving so much of complain everyday. be a better today, gain a little goods for tomorrow, future or even in another life. god knew and you, yourself