A year, 2012

1145pm 31/12/12
song: the last- all american rejects
title: a year, 2012

a post about the year,
first of all.. wishing everybody have a blast
and reaching home safely after celebration

new year thought?
well, nothing but of course health comes first so,
just hope everyone starts loving their life
get as healthy as possible
someone might thinks their life sucks
so then, they stop giving a damn about and start doing things that are so stubborn
that give a harm to themselves
well, there's always someone worse or even worst
have a look on those people who went through,
i have seen some or heard people who are so worse enough
that i think they should just give up on themselves
like, giving their life away
but they never even have a thought of it
well, sometimes when we're at our worse or even worst
first thing to start with is always a smile
with my self-thought, what i went through
were all much tougher among all my friends
but i never complain about them
sometimes seeing people around me complaint about what they have gone through
seriously such an annoy, i know i shouldn't been saying all these
all i want to reveal is that the world has changed so much
i'm always missing my life like two years ago o more
those life were pure, couldn't agree more while comparing to days now


2012, well..
i'm 21 years old,
good or bad, all in
learnt such a lot of things
and had much of mistake as well
but most of the learnings, were from the mistakes

in this reality world,
to me, that people are always going for a better
there will never be a perfect thing in the world or sufficient
if one doesn't improve for a better tomorrow
there will be a risk of not having what you have today on tomorrow

hard work versus luck
luck, if you're born with luck
well, great but you'll never get a chance to experience what is appreciation about
which leads never a chance of feeling the wonderful things in the world
as they get what they want
but people like me, born without luck
we've got to work so much harder
to earn ourself a wealthy wallet
and to possibly get what we wanted for a long time, to me, a partner

i always believe,
god are just being too fucking fair
even though you think it wasn't
but in fact, it is
things that not supposed to happen
it happens, that ass feeling
no matter what, we can only live with it
the only thing can be done is to think positive..

two years of time uh
i had given up
but then, i had also given in again
tired of being stuck with this routine
i wish god just letting me know who's the angel in my life..

sometimes..
my life, i feel like i'm a joker
just being born to make others happy
while inside me, no one would understand
but what to do, words will never get a solution
living with the flow is the only choice
life is like born to find myself, who i really am
i can't even identify myself
but there's only a word could describe it all
a failure

12:41am
01/01/2013
song: 爱 入 非 非- 罗 志 祥


song of the year: superman can't fly- jay chou. because of this song, the reason why i'm still here. since the biggest crisis of my life happened where it started from february, the worst result ever. the guilt or the emotional in me, totally unable to describe. there isn't anything to be happy about after the impact, even there's something really funny i couldn't even have a laugh as i'm so not deserved to be in the world, its just a waste of time of being/living here and i'm only a son of four sons, what i feel was it doesn't matter on my existence.. until then, i found this song and which enable me to find myself back a little. a crisis that changed who i was, yet i'm still unrecoverable now. that impact.. was so damn much...

best moment of the year: all alcoholic nights, nothing to be happy about but to self-comfort
worst moment: graduation, i don't get it #exactly

there's just too much of stuffs in me remain inside, but i know i'm not the only one. everyone has their so called or thought, 'undesirable thing' happened. you think you don't deserve them but everything has at least a reason to prove it meant to happen, and somehow we'll never get the answer. the world is just fair enough until you're so not believing and giving so much of complain everyday. be a better today, gain a little goods for tomorrow, future or even in another life. god knew and you, yourself

the last semester

16/6/2012 9:53pm

the last semester

without noticing, i have been studied here 2 whole years already

i'm no longer feeling new and fresh to the environment here

but, i'd like to be in that new and fresh environment if i still could

the first year of studying here was so awesome

as there's a lot of things were very new to me

in a week of time, i went to the futsal court alone

and then i played although it was a lost game that losing so many goals but i enjoyed much 

because i get to know some friends and that, that was so special

which they're working at the canteen of my college, TAR college

i, as a gemini i can easily communicate with people *self-thought*

one of them is from Indonesia called fadrid, mehsi, arief or bodoh! hahahax

he's my bestfriend, same age as me but way so short than me

after a football match *quick shot*

the proper picture, hahhahaha at our age 19 that time

the laughing moment when i asked him to let me take a proper picture

me, at the futsal court with his Liverpool's jersey, hahaha great moment

food from canteen, since i know them they always gave me special more food hahahahha and by the way this considered as little

and others are from Myanmar. My life here isn't that wonderful but i feel good with it and a good experience tho

for the very first month of staying in the hostel,

i got no computer while i only have phone

so i passed my nights by singing songs and even got complained by the neighbour

i met my first roommate in after a week passed

he was a senior and every night when if he was around

we went to cc to play dota

i think i should continue all these right after i finished my semester

should really go to my main objective of the topic

well, the last oh semester..

maybe it's my last semester of my study for my entire life

due to all these failures i had in this college,

i feel that i should stop wasting my time and money on study

because i am so no good on it

however, the college team..

the coach told me why not staying for future study

that moment i feel so sad but also happy

its like Manchester United football club extending my contract on the club

but i, i'm so powerless as i failed so many subjects which caused me unable to graduate this year

talk about graduation

right after a year of studying here,

i have finally found a purpose

which is to graduate with my classmates, group 23

that fucking awesome moment is when

we all wear the harry potter costume and throw the hat

unfortunately, all the dreams had been sunk down by semester 5

which i failed 6 subjects out of 7 i had for that semester

because of that, semester 6 i was extremely emotional

i smoked, like very often and ignoring everyone in social networking

because i found that i have no reason to put a smile or to be happy 

even there's something really funny or should be happy about

i felt so hopeless, guilt, misery, lifeless.... 

but what to do? life's goes on...

my classmates...

they are good, everyone of them.. i love them...

all the time we had, i wish i will never forget

we had trips, we had parties and even we had alcohol~

it doesn't matter whether they're black or white, i like to being with them

but i always racist abusing them in a way of fun

i don't really meant it, they knew it so hahahahhaha gotcha xPPP 

the last semester started

we, all the guys in my class..

we are all so special, we are like family...

of TOGETHERALONE

that together moment is when we all together hanged up with polo-tee on 14 feb of 2012

hahahahhahaha that was actually super fun

by the way, we're all single

so, in the last semester we all actually know its our last

and also knowing after the semester ended..

we'll be very seldom seeing each other or will never meet again

we know because of we experienced it before just like in our secondary school

but this is more worse as we're all from other states i mean, some..

its already week 8

its like 6 weeks left for us,

we all have a sense that i called it as 'inside feeling'

do without asking or telling

like we go to our so-called 'library'

this library needs to pay entrance fees that costs 5rm

ok, its actually means cyber cafe

a lot of things,

we all just do it, naturally.. suddenly... 

its like... knowing we soon not gonna doing these anymore...

lastly, its about myself..

its the last semester, and i.. i feel like i'm already gave up on my study

so far all the weeks i passed like wasting my time

i went to lecture to listen songs or sleep

to tutorial class to waste my time

and even tests.. i don't even wanna study..

i can't change all these attitudes

because of all the failures i had previous,

that force, hit me bad and i'm so down

like in a deep sea can't get up or away...

i know this sounds really stupid

cause i'm so hopeless... 

i can now only wish to spend my last semester well to create memorable stuffs for me to remember with the life i'm having here...

especially with my classmates

i'll miss them very very very much...

we all soon will separate.. 

we all know, so i wish all the time we had we treasured it well

and hopefully, we all will have lots of gathering meeting each other

and also all with good health and then we all will visit each other in our own home with our own family.

SOMEDAY

its 17/6/2012 1:12am

HAPPY FATHER's DAY, DAD... 

fourth semester break

25th Aug - 19th Sept

its been a long time that i've never feel so like 'HOME'

what i say about 'HOME',

it wasn't 100% means 24hours per day at home.

just.. 'HOME'.......

well, before i going back to my hometown after final exam.

my mood was way soooo damn down.

because of my performance on my final exams.

not doing good AT ALL!

but luckily, after the last paper.

i had an enjoyable night with my classmates.

we went karaok dinner(steamboat) and others.

and however,

before i going back,

i think of something that could helps me to feel better(less guilt)

which was to work when semester break

earn some of money to cover some of the resit papers!

well,

after the celebration with my classmates,

the next day i went back to my hometown.(25th of Aug)

before leaving kl, went to chow kit's bak kuh teh with aunt. DIMZ!

at the bus station, reached kuantan at around 10.

hoe was the one who drove me back but we never back,

i straight away went for a futsal match!

after futsal game, we went back home for shower.

and out again for supper. we psycho lilo for treating us burgers and it works!

it's saturday! and yah, dressed up and to the DRINKS!

great grammie's birthday! she teared! omg!!!

happy always great grammie yahx!

the most precious photo!

all (Y) which i told them to do~ and SMILES but they LAUGHS!

man utd vs arsenal!

went to hoe's house after great grammie's

photo taking time and invited my wife, yuhwen! hahahax. (HOE's SIS)

she sent us a warning! LOLX!

8-2, final score! GOOD JOB MAN UTD!

done my holidays,

got my job! and its...

i'm BACK! (Chin)

firdaus and i, FUNNY moment.

the smurf gang. with a pendek in front HAHA!

FAIZ! HOHOHO, gayanyaaaa

well, as i said. i can fell asleep at anywhere anytime

my favourite PART!

treat this aunty(miss tricia) starbucks, green tea which costed me 15.90rm o.O!

cake by FAIZ, treat us as his last day working! aiyo!

LEPAK! Crew Leader's birthday, kena GG!

GSC FUTSAL! damn exciting! won 1-0! HAHAX!

the last piece of me in GSC! gonez~ bye GSC!

the visitors! yan qi + you san

new member, 'KIKI'

rajinnya budak ni! doing his ac FOLIO

teeheez! this is nice~ love it

went to sg. lembing, this is what i can do for the best.

DRINK DRINK again~

after drink, i went zenith for second round~ SERIOUSLY BEi!

futsal(UNITED FC!)

my left knee, serious GG!

the last saturday night, which the next day almost everyone leaving for future study.

(DINNER, at hak yi gai~ FULL! i mean tummy)

after dinner,

back to the classic.(watch football match, but after that!)

drinkssss and gamesss, one of the lad's having party but didnt finish the beers

so.. it's teeheez for us!

dogs, them, games and beers

Sunday! the last oh day~

bought tickets-> Nasi Lemak 2.0

my family and popo

great grammie and ah fai. chilling at popo's house first.

the mall, rooftop! and great view that twins hotel as backgroup~

after movie, treat i treat them lunch!

then rest 1hour,

we were out again!

was wanting to treat them ABC + cendul but then

plan failed and off to satay, grandpa's sis treat!

them, great grammie all of them. i love you seriously..

hope this will last forever PLEASE!

the last oh night, watch football match!

Man United vs Chelsea!

Tottenham vs Liverpool~!

great match all of them~

Jason Tee Boon Lee acts cute with Tzehow's IC g ahahahx~

thats all for my semester break..

my time was like passing very quickly,

but every single day..

the whole day is so damn long..

but its worth..

i learnt some stuffs...

i met a lot of new friendsss...

i met a lot of friendsss so i don't have to ask them for a tea!

well, its a satisfied semester break..

although i had only less than a week time to play or relax.

all about working..

i enjoyed my job, COOL and FINE!

well, for the grammie part..

they are always in my mind and my heart.

i still owe you guys a meal of ABC and CENDUL

wait me, i'll be back~!

intra-school competition

it's 25th of july now.

and tomorrow is 26th of july 2011!

moreover.. tomorrow gonna have my intra school competition - futsal

which means! the internal of school of business studies students will be fighting each other..

ha!.. all business minded fellows..

last year..

i did joined the competition.. for the very first time..

i made it to the semi-finals..

but too bad i couldn't make it to the final..

which lost a 1-0 extra time.. argh.. sad sad case

last year..

me and my team really tried so hard!

body flying over here and there

but still.. in the extra time.. it's a OMG!

mates shot a lots but all on the post.. so.. argh..

damn it..

forget it.. :( how nice if we could get in the final that time~

so this year!

oh yeah..

my team.. contain of 3 chinese and 3 indians

but i think i'm gonna add one extra player

so it's 4 chinese and 3 indians..

all with hopes in the mind..

but guess what.. i have the most hopessss!

i really want to get it into the final this time..

desperatezzz~~~

not really much to say..

just to make it like a bit sort of 'happening..'

my team isn't taught as people could imagine..

hope we could just make it works.. no matter what..

17th of June 2011

A day that I'll never forget..

a day.. that I've lost one of my besties..

a day... that someone has gone to somewhere far away..

a day that she.. left and never comes back ever.

a day that everyone starts to tears drop for her..

a day.. that a laugh has gone..

it's all about you, mak cik zhu!

i know you hate us to call ur name "zhu"

noob yan bei, puiiz!

you are an ordinary girl, but..

you're noob enough and keep got shoot by me!

but then i'll cool u down. ha! weirdo us~!

and you always act angry huh!

but actually you kinda like love it so muchy huh!

and now, i got no chances to do it again..

i like to challenge you always!

but.. why were you leaving so damn early!

at least one more time? i hate people went missing in sudden..

i begged to god, why didn't you let me have one last time of seeing you?!

damnz..

you left.. so.. who's gonna dance with me right now in the club?

you taught me so crazy shit dance moves like..

shake MY ASS? ha!

and guess what?! i'm now always using it on my friends and people!

...

argh.. life's so unpredictable right?..

last time we used to play like all of us were party animals.

but after spm...

life has changed! not just me..

all of us..

but our friendship never end.

that's the best thing ever!

now i only remember the most important thing about you and me..

you and i always fight, you say yes i say no. i say yes u say no too!

hahhaa.. i don't know where to find such a fun girl else like you.

i miss the faces of you when played by me.

and your laughter.. that made myself can't stop laughing too...

ahh... life's sucks so badly..

i feel so uncomfortable after you left..

well.. i'll never forget you
may our memory always be remembered..

a video by chien how, your so-called 'my wife'

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2069058882532&comments

all the photos i have about you
from stranger to bestie

*ascending years...* 

i don't know where i get this

form 3: li ching and li hwa birthday

all your crazy ladies gang xP

xue mei, li hwa and you

your so-called 'my wife'(chien how) and you

opss

2009: form 5

new year: 2009

in the midnight @ your house

fei zhu zhu with zhu yan bei

guai lan's style with you

noob photo-capturing skill by you

napek liang and you~

same babi shirt, hahahax!

two green shirts and two babi shirts, miss it much..

zhu x2

my wife's birthday (chien how) 2nd of January 2009

you and i, your sweet 17th birthday~

with my manchester united xP

william and beibei- edited by you

chien how and i

your house, your room, your bed... x( miss all your noob pillows

farewell for kevin tan

us in the car, jun the drive with your noob face

shirley's sweet 18th birthday *too dark can't see wayne* :X

you with li ching, and chienhow+napek liang

CREAM WAR: i was the photographer so i don't have to play with you all, smart i am huh zhu? xP

hahahahahhahahax! this is the best one, its on monday!
where our school having assembly and then i was late so were them
i met them behind the school's gate then we hid together!
hahahahahahhahahahahx.... x((

year 2010: clubbing @ plantinum, liching and lihwa sweet 19th birthday

all the ladies: li ching, mei wei, mak cik zhu, xue li and li hwa

me and you, with xueli's peaceyy behind?
you were wearing your favourite clothe as xue li mentioned.. x(((

me, jun and you. the best three partners i mean NOOB partners hahahhax




year 2011: this is the year.. x((((
why were you leaving so quick,
i thought we were gonna see each other's family in future...
and also, have fun like never ends...

mei wei sweet 20th birthday. your this smile, i'll never ever forget...

hahaha, gotcha!
one of the most beautiful girl got captured by me xPP
*the last time i met you..*


zhen xian, mei wei and mak cik zhu


the birthday lady with one of the most beautiful lady~
p/s: two lesbo xP


the killer!


shirley, zhen how, kok shun and makcik zhu


shirley, me, zhen xian and her
we danced hottttttttt and drank maddddddd


MAD MAD MAD
tak ade tikus pun~ cheh


me and her *noob face*


my favourite but i sweated like mad
because she was keep forcing me to sexy danceeeee with my sexiest ass xP


shirley and yanbei
hahahax! lesbo again :X

all gone MAD

napek liang with zhu x2

last picture...

i'm sorry that i didn't find you guys often
i just can't do it, even now...
i only met you twice in year 2011
i was totally regretted...
i'm stupid i'm dumb, such a son of a bitch....
i hope we will meet again in another life
and that... you must not leave us that quick cause i'm gonna shake my ass
till you can still laugh it with your great grandchildren

lastly, thank you for your existence
we once a stranger but fate brought us into someone
the fun we had, it shall never replaced
the friendship between you and i
no one could ever replaces it

you came to me in the middle of midnight wishing me a happy birthday
i knew that it was you!
your diary, you wrote my on 28th of May- william's birthday
i'm so thankful and i appreciated that a lot
although people feel i was naive but who cares
i received your wish, i had the best birthday's celebration ever..





your existence made everyone of us happy
i wish one day we'll meet again
perhaps in the dream
then we can play like what we used to..

au revoir! zhu yan bei, love ♥